Our first single. Contains an acoustic cover of "Maps" by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Video directed by Jack King.

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Aug 02 2013
36 notes

TO KILL A KING SIGN TO XTRA MILE RECORDS!

Good morning folks.

As the title of this piece suggests, we’re here with some big news. We’re as pleased as looter in JD Sports to announce that we have signed with Xtra Mile Recordings! 

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We’ve got a thank you gift for the role that you’ve all played in getting us to this point. This comes in the shape of free download of a track (in association with Clash Magazine) called 'Bones', which was the first track we recorded together.

You can get your paws on it by clicking on this picture of us from about the time we cut it on wax cylinder it in 1987 -

 

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But that’s not all! As part of this new union we are re-releasing the album on 7th October with four bonus tracks. The long-awaited vinyl edition will follow shortly after (more details to follow) !

Pre-orders are now live, so click which ever suits you -

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Finally, if you’d like to come and see us play these tracks live and in the flesh, tickets are still available for our tour of (half) the UK in October.

As ever, click the picture to ensure your attendance via the buying of a ticket or twelve -

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Thanks again people, enjoy your weekends!

^JP


Jul 15 2013
4 notes

UK tour support from Keston Cobblers Club

Hello again.

In October we’re doing this

and have the great pleasure to announce that Keston Cobblers Club will be travelling with us and playing for you all. Here’s a picture of us celebrating this at Leefest yesterday.

Click on a picture for a link to all that they do.

For tickets, click HERE.

See you on tour!

^JP


Jul 15 2013
21 notes

Festivals

Morning everyone.

I do hope you’re enjoying the near-tropical weather we’re experiencing of late. It has certainly made our run of festivals even more glorious than the would’ve already been. Over the past two weekends we’ve packed in Lubstock, Barn the Farm, Beat Herder, British Summer Time in Hyde Park and the mighty Leefest. Here’s what they looked like, in non chronological order:

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One was far more impressed than the other by the reclining seats.

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The most terrifying car tyre mankind has ever witnessed.

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Ian’s blurred hand bears witness to the speed of his bra catching…

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before alerting the staff at Wonderbra of his modelling skills.

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Nice night for a drive.

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Ben prepares the breakfast. It was divine.

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At Barn on the Farm these mini frisbees appeared on our rider. They were completely inedible but great fun nonetheless. 

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Nora’s poker face gave nothing away.

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Even ostriches photo-bomb.

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Meet the whole gang.

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Ben takes flight in a microlight. 

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Once I’d explained to him where the phrase ‘goatee beard’ came from Ian had to get a closer look.

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Ben and Ian sociably watching the Wimbledon final.

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The rogue brogue’s sole came loose which was obtuse but it couldn’t escape from the tape!

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The ancient Egyptians having a barney, much like the modern ones.

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Time waits for no man as Jon downloads backstage, turning Beat Herder to Beat Turder in no time at all.

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Barn on the Farm was appropriately named.

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Ian sets off on another climb. What a cliche.

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Ralph gets an attack of blues. He’s fine now.

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My dad keeping the faith in Hyde Park.

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At our Play All The Things stage at Leefest we hosted a band called Gay Bum. They are hilarious and fantastic. To find out more, google them.

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Ralph’s stardust remained potent and alluring even backstage.

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Our Leefest crowd was sizeable. Thanks to all who attended!

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The band looked on in disgust when the interviewer declined to join their picnic.

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Here’s us slamming into the instrumental in Howling. I am on the kick drum.

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Ben’s hypnotic stare was to be avoided at all costs.

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Kneesy does it (sorry).

In the next few weeks we’ve got Deershed, Redfest, Germany, Leeds, Reading and Bestival so there’ll be much more candid shots and average captions for you to indulge yourselves with.

Until then apply the factor 50 and bask.

^JP


Jul 01 2013
16 notes

TKAK smack Spain

Afternoon!

It’s taken a week but I’ve finally overcome the jetlag and can bring you the news of our latest cross-continental excursion. Last last Thursday we headed to Spain on behalf of the British Council for a series of gigs and a reintroduction to the sun. We had an absolutely brilliant time, as these pictures should demonstrate.

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Jon had never been awake at 4.30am before and found the whole situation unbelievably exciting.

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Ben’s over-confident crabs were really getting him down.

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Who says Goths lack a sense of humour? Here are some in fancy dress at our gig in Valencia’s British Cemetery.

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LIfe’s a beach in for Valencians (sorry).

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Jon does his best impression of an inconspicuous tourist.

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This was my first ever chin up. It hurt.

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To avoid the unwanted attentions of our Spanish super fans a suitable disguise was found. From left to right: Josh, Ralph, Ben and Ian (Jon out of shot but dressed as a Bishop).

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Our photographer Duncan was mercilessly bullied for the duration of the trip.

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A simple session shot slyly in the street.

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Sir Wiggins, meet your new nemesis, Ralph Pelleymounter.

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A firm believer in reincarnation, Ian’s mood changed markedly when told that prawns were kittens in a past life.

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Tasty.

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Whilst I swat away another mosquito, Ralph tells the one about General Franco and the Queen in perfect Spanish.

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The lads on tour photo was ruined by a mysterious blonde.

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Would you trust this camel?

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They also sell sex toys, making their name a well-chosen one.

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The flight out was so turbulent that my fingerboard had to be taped on.

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Wayne and Garth out on the town.

We’d like to thank Helen, Tony and everyone else at the British Council for arranging everything at their end, plus our tour manager Alice, whose stoic efforts over the phone in the administrative equivalent of a bi-lingual bloodfest were incredible. 

If you’d like to see us over the summer then head to any of these places - 

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Until then, bye for now.

^JP


Jul 01 2013
13 notes

Photo

See you in a field soon folks!

See you in a field soon folks!


Jun 12 2013
16 notes

The Kingdoms (fan art special)

From time to time a fan sends us some artwork that is truly inspired. An Italian fan from Tortoli, Sardinia called Cristina sent us this comic mini story featuring our lyrics for the script and our logo as the basis for the characters.

We’ve posted it here in all its glory and hope you enjoy it. You can follow her on twitter under @vanuaatua.

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Thanks Cristina, brilliant work!

^JP


Jun 10 2013
14 notes

UK TOUR 2013

Good afternoon!

We’re delighted to announce that we’ll be playing our biggest headline tour of the UK (well, England Scotland, sorry) so far in October. If you live here or near enough then do come along, it’s going to be immense!

Here’s a little something Ben put together to show you all where you need to be and when you need to be there: 

The more observant amongst you will might have noticed that the image is the same as Ralph’s tattoo. I wish I could give you a prize for spotting this, but as I’m flat broke you’ll just have to be content with feeling smug.

Tickets are available at all good retailers.  

Go on, treat yourself!

^JP


May 28 2013
9 notes

Dot 2 Dot

Hello All.

What a weekend! What should have a been a fairly straightforward jaunt over three cities in three days turned out to be the completely the opposite. Allow me to explain.

Manchester - Friday 24th May

We began in London on Friday at 1pm having left two extra hours to get to Manchester in expectation of bank holiday traffic. It seemed as if the whole of London was trying to join us at Dot 2 Dot which was at first highly flattering. However, as the hours ticked by and we missed our set time, we wished we were slightly less popular than the Beatles. Every road was solid, the entire network heading north seemingly constipated with a huge car-shaped turd with no visible reason for the blockage. Two closed junction on the M6 should never mean it takes you two hours to leave London. To illustrate the trauma, here is a flyer with our proposed set time on:

Thanks to some excellent negotiation from our multi-talented tour manager and a very amiable promoter at the venue, we eventually took to the stage at 11pm, having sat in the van for nine hours. This was over twice as long as it should’ve taken but we were very glad that we were still able to play as four other bands in the same predicament failed to attend. We’d also like to say thanks to all who turned up to see us to alleviate the trauma of the journey. The set went well, save for Ian getting stuck in the ceiling:

Spinal Trap.

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Bristol - Saturday 25th May

Compared to the park-the-bus tactics employed the Manc’s in order to stop us getting anywhere near their city, the Bristolians welcomed us like a leaky defence followed by an open goal. I used a football analogy there as a way of self censorship. Initially I had nuns in mind …

Unlike the perpetually rainy Manchester, Bristol was blessed with glorious golden sunshine and pie on arrival. After parking the van we headed down to the river where Ralph, Ian and I took part in an interview where we resembled one of the many stag do’s out that weekend in these fine cardboard crowns -

After that we caught a few bands before Ian was asked to enter the performer’s dot to dot competition, aptly named after the very festival we were playing at. His attempt was rightly derided by Robbie, our replacement keyboard player for the weekend with Ben at a French wedding -

Ian’s failure was in fact a metaphor for our weekend.

The set we played was fast, loud and sweaty with a fantastic crowd. Thanks Bristol for being so simple…

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Nottingham - Sunday 26th May

Before we arrived in Nottingham we enjoyed another sun-soaked morning at our hosts in Bristol. My day began like so - 

 

After I removed the parcel shelf the following events occurred - 

35 years later Robbie gets excited about Grease.

My concentration is unbroken as I remove all snotty whites from our eggs.

Our co-host Ed looks perplexed as shark-faced tour manager named Alice sips tea in his living room.

A breakfast fit for a king (ahem).

Ian gets the haircut he always dreamed of…

before his exhibitionist streak takes over and he finishes the job for all to see.

With bellies full of pork we bid our hosts farewell and made steady progress towards Nottingham. We were just twenty minutes from town when we were smashed from behind not once but twice. We collectively soiled ourselves before pulling over, counting ourselves very luck and exchanging details with the guilty party. The back of our van resembled an episode of the long-forgotten Scrap Heap Challenge show but we were all unscathed, so with no hard feelings we made it to Jongleurs where the final show of the weekend would take place. There was one small problem though; we were unable to open the back doors of the van.

Heads were scratched, hire companies rung, brows furrowed. Eventually the go-ahead was given - break in at any cost. All we needed now were the tools and the muscles to begin our assault on two solid sheets of rather crumpled metal. Heeding our call, a crack team was assembled, featuring a local biker and two Northern Irishmen named Niall Stewart and Dave (aka Semtex) who did this -

As Alice pulls her hair out, Semtex issues instructions.

With the lampost’s permission, our mystery biker and Niall secure the vehicle.

With the rope scheme abandoned, the lads discuss the finer points of lock breaking.

Assault from above is the preferred option.

Eventually we broke in with some more muscles in the form of the RAC man to cheers from a massed crowd. This was lucky as we had an acoustic session close by in a matter of minutes for Out Of The Woods clothing. It went well and looked like this - 

The show was similarly trouble-free and rammed so thanks everyone for coming down.

We hope our festival summer pans out far more easily than this weekend did!

^JP


May 08 2013
22 notes

Dog is Dead tour

Morning All.

 

We’ve spent the Bank Holiday weekend recovering from our exploits on our recent tour with Dog is Dead. We had a fantastic stint with them and would like to thank them for having us. Thanks also go to Alice for her splendid tour management, parents and friends who loaned us beds and food and Demitirius at Coventry Kasbah for his Greek feast and accompanying crepes which were the best thing Jon’s ever eaten. That sentence was too long.

 

Here’s what it looked like…

 

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For the unacquainted, that there is Dog is Dead.

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I have worked Apple’s highly advanced Preview programme to the fullest to visually illustrate our epic journey.

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Here we intimidate Dog is Dead with our footballing prowess. Ian can do headers.

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Ralph found this in a beer garden. Can you tell he’s a fan?

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Jon takes geek chic to its logical conclusion.

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Ralph and Rob trade stories of whiskey, wine and wild women.

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Ben’s Bar, complete with its landlord modelling the world’s smallest can of Coke.

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The people of Wales smash those stereotypes in Cardiff.

Ralph was given a face-making kit by some of our excellent Welsh fans. He can now make a face in ANY place he likes!

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The new genre of Mobilecore is spawned by pure chance when Ian accidentally accompanies Ben’s phone call.  

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If you fill in the gaps between crowd, eat, palm and hand you’ll have some idea of how good Dog is Dead were.

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Ironing out the flaws in my pedal setup.

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The concept of mimicry was lost on the Rock City crowd. 

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Amid a sea of green, the front three stand and deliver.

imageBen outdoes Ian’s standing-on-the-speakers manoeuvre by pulling off the first ever TKAK stage dive and crowd surf. Stunning.

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The traditional end of tour scrum minus me (I was on a train to London at this point…)

Next up for us is the Great Escape Festival in Brighton in two weekends time. We’ll be playing at Sticky Mike’s Frog Bar on Friday 17th and then at the Dome with Bastille the next day. If you’re lucky enough to have a ticket (they’re both sold out) then we’ll see you there!

Adios amigos.

^JP


Apr 24 2013
22 notes

Dog is Dead tour vs To Kill A King’s Highland Games

Good day!

As a band we have been fairly lucky with all things van hire, save from the occasional leg room issue (not for me though, I’m dead short). We hope that our current tour with Dog is Dead is breakdown-free, but if it is we’re well prepared, as I will explain after this poster -

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^^^ (click it for a ticket) ^^^

On our UK tour just gone we experienced our first van breakdown en route to Glasgow, which was the result of a leaking water pipe. Ralph, the dad of the band, and Alice, our Tour Manager, stayed with the stricken Splitter and awaited the arrival of some superheroes dressed in high viz jackets.

 

To kill time, Ian, Jon, Ben and I scaled the steep ascent of the motorway embankment and hopped over a flimsy fence to bestride a great plateau, one filled with tree saplings being weaned inside plastic tubes, a dirt road, boulders, scree (aka stones) and not much else. Our inner boy scouts took hold, birthing the TKAK Highland Games and the first motorway breakdown I’ve enjoyed rather than endured. For any geographical sticklers out there, yes, I know we were in the Lowlands being but 20 miles from Glasgow, but ‘Lowland Games’ sounds terrible, so there. Here’s how they went…

Event No. 1 - Scree Lumping

Select your sapling tube from the vast array. Arm yourself with plenty of scree. Attempt to get your scree lumps into the tube from the other side of the dirt track. Overarm and underarm both permitted:

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The sapling cowered with only its plastic shield to protect it from the imminent onslaught.

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As Willoughby launches another jagged missle, Platman scrambles for scree.

imageA potential streaker is put off from fear of bruises.

imageWilloughby reigned supreme as the Sultan of Scree with a 0.000000000000000000015% success rate.

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The aftermath, a metaphor for life as a series of near misses.

Event No. 2 - Unravelling a javelin and see how far it’s travelling

Select a long, think stick. Run with it. Throw it.

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Platman gees up the swelling crowds…

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before his assault on the runway.

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Flawless technique.

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Willoughby heads for his mark…

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before unleashing a new world record throw of 34,567,890 metres.

Event No. 3 - Scree and stick race

This is a recession-friendly egg and spoon race. Find some scree and a stick. Place scree on stick. Run as far as possible with scree and stick still touching.

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but following his disqualification for doping, only Platman and Willoughby were eligible to compete.

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Platman realises that the curvature of ‘stick’ could seriously undermine his ambitions.

Event No. 4 - Screeball

Glaswegian baseball using scree and a stick. Brutal.

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Platman steps out to unleash yet another home run.

Event No. 5 - Tree climbing

Find a tree, climb it. Highest man wins.

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These boots are made for climbing and that’s just what they’ll do.

Event No. 6 - Boulder jumping

Find a boulder. Climb it. Leap off. Points are awarded for style of dismount.

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Dudfield’s sturdy footwear cam into their own in his ascent of the boulder.

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Dudfield whips up the crowd into a frenzy by modelling this season’s hottest trend, the crop top.

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An unusually timid dismount sees Dudfield post a poor score.

Event No. 7 - Boulder Breaking

Find a stick. Run towards a bolder screaming in the style of Braveheart. Attempt to break the boulder with the stick. Run away screaming when the boulder wins.

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The boulder stands firm in the wake of Willoughby’s intimidating frame.

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The impact sent tremors throughout the Lowlands.

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Fearing retaliation, Willoughby makes for the safety of the trees.

Our heptathlon of sorts left us drained but exhilirated. It was not for the feint-hearted and we’d advise amateurs like Jessica Ennis to stay well clear of these rugged pursuits.

Next time you break down why not try and concoct your own micro Olympics?

Bye for now!

^JP


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